Pranks Remembered For A Lifetime
by starlight.moon.princess
Summary: A glimpse into some of the many pranks pulled by the Weasley twins during their years at Hogwarts.
1. Did We Forget Betting Was Illegal?

It was all Peeves' fault. No, really; the start of the betting ring was definitely not Fred and George's fault.

* * *

The twins were perfectly happy with their plans for their new prank. It involved the suits of armour, pirates, and water balloons. Then, they bumped into the poltergeist, and it all spiraled down from there.

Peeves was holding two rather long checklists, and muttering about how boring it had gotten around Hogwarts lately.

'Well, dear chap, I do believe that's a rather dreadful insult aimed towards us,' Fred said, turning towards George with a mournful expression on his face.

'Absolutely, undoubtedly true, my dear partner. I wonder what we've been doing wrong.'

The two turned towards Peeves.

'Have our pranks begun _boring_ our dear friend and partner-in-crime?' they asked with similar outraged expressions.

Peeves looked up at that, distracted from his lists.

'Twinsies!' he exclaimed, turning cartwheels in the air, 'no, no, no! Not the twinsies' pranks! The Defence teachers!'

This piqued the twins' interest.

'Now, _this_ sounds fascinating. Tell us more,' George said with a wicked gleam in his eye.

Peeves pushed the lists he was holding towards the twins.

'This, twinsies, is a list of all the Defence teachers since the curse was placed on the post. And _this_ is a list of reasons why each of them quit the job.'

'Huh. These are _hilarious_! Look at this one Georgie, he left because one of Kettleburn's fire crabs set him on, well, fire.'

'And this one was – bitten by a _House Elf_? Are you _serious_? Is that even _possible_?'

'Look at this! She quit because of – bloody hell, was she serious? She quit because she thought Dumbledore's beard gave off bad hippie vibes! What is _wrong_ with these people? What is that even supposed to _mean_?'

'Anyhow,' George said, turning to Peeves, 'what does this have to do with things becoming boring around here?'

'Ever since the Marauders left, there are only BORING reasons left for quitting! See – war, becoming an auror, having children, Voldie-possessed, memory charmed – BORING!' Peeves grumbled, before abruptly spinning off towards the trophy Room.

One would think that his motive for telling the twins this piece of information was to spice up the reasons for leaving the Defence post, and it may well have been so. But the twins had rather twisted minds, minds that could sniff out a way to make money a mile away.

* * *

The next day, a notice went on the notice boards in each house.

_Tired of having a long line of Defence teachers? Wondering how you can use the fabled curse on the position to your advantage? Worry not! Fred and George Weasley present you with a new way to make money!_

_HOW WILL THE DEFENCE PROFESSOR QUIT?_

_Some of the odds we offer are:_

_Bitten by a house-elf…20-1_

_Injured by one of Hagrid's creatures….10-1_

_A 'Harry Potter Incident'…2-1_

_More options offered! Contact Fred & George Weasley today!_

* * *

Of course, Hermione made sure to inform the Professors about the betting as soon as she saw the notice, and they, unfortunately, did _not_ find it as funny as the rest of the school.

The announcements were quickly taken off the notice boards, accompanied by a hefty point loss and long detentions for the twins.

The people that had already seen the notices made sure to spread the word, which meant the entire school knew soon enough. A few detentions was nothing compared to the amount of money the twins made.

* * *

But really, it was _all_ Peeves' fault!

* * *

_For:_

_The Diagon Alley Challenge, Category Wealeys' Wizarding Wheezes_

_The Wand Wood Competition, Category Dogwood_

_The Harry Potter Spells Contest, Category Riddikulus_

_The Greek Mythology Competition (Epimetheus)_

_A Completely Randomized Competition_

_The If you dare challenge, prompt 313. Comedian_

_The Things I'm Not Allowed to do at Hogwarts Challenge, Number 13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this years' DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a celever money-making concept._


	2. Why We Need A Quidditch Anthem

**241. I will not sing 'Defying Gravity' during Quidditch practice.**

**OR**

**Why We Need A Quidditch Anthem, According To Fred & George Weasley**

'_I think I'll try defying gravity,_

_Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity…'_

'Fred! George! What in Merlin's name are the two of you doing?' Angelina Johnson screamed across the Quidditch Pitch.

The twins grinned at her unrepentantly. 'Well, since Slytherin seems to have decided that "Weasley Is Our King" is their unofficial Quidditch anthem, we decided that the Gryffindor team needed one too,' Fred – or was it George – claimed with a cheeky grin, ignoring Ron, who spluttered out an inaudible protest, face bright red.

'Yeah,' George – or was it Fred – chimed in in support of his twin, 'but instead of mocking the Slytherins, we decided that it was best to have a song that proclaimed our greatness as a team.'

'Don't forget, it's also supposed to be about how the Slytherins can never beat us.'

'That's what I just said! It's about our greatness – how we never lose, and thus are never brought down, metaphorically of course.'

'Anyways, we heard Will Hornby from our dorm singing this, so we asked him which song it was. He provided us with all the lyrics, and we thought it would be perfect! What do you think?'

Looking at the gleeful faces of the two boys in front of her, Angelina turned to Harry, who was hovering at her side. Having been raise in the Muggle world, and having Hermione as his best friend, he knew the background to this song very well, and was thus struggling to hold in his laughter. 'I don't have the heart to tell them what the song is truly about,' Angelina murmured. 'But for now –'

'FRED! GERORGE! The next time you two sing that song during practice, I'll make sure Professor McGonagall assigns you'll a month of detention. If you want to train the House to sing it during matches, that's your business, but don't. Mess. With. My. Practices!'

* * *

_For:_

_The If you dare challenge, Prompt 224. Choir Boys_

_Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes, Nosebleed Nougat_

_Musical Terms Challenge, Burletta_


	3. The Importance Of Book Clubs

**411. I will not charm the Great Hall doors to shout "You will not pass!" every time someone tries to get in. Even if Professor Dumbledore thinks it's funny. We would like to eat, you know.**

**OR**

**Book Clubs Tend To Come In Handy During The Oddest Situations.**

Sometimes, the best pranks come from the most unexpected places.

If there was one thing nobody could accuse Fred and George Weasley of, it was reading Muggle fiction novels in their free time.

That, however, was something that was utterly unconnected to the fact that, on a Friday evening during the twins' sixth year, the doors to the Great Hall refused to open and let students and Professors in for dinner.

"Weasley and Weasley," Professor McGonagall snapped, turning to glare at the two most mischievous members of her house. "What exactly have you done to the Great Hall?"

"Nothing Professor," the twins chorused, looking for all the world like two innocent angels.

"Weasleys, this is the only time I'm asking nicely. What. Did. You. Do?" the Scottish woman snapped, looking very annoyed at being unable to get into the Great Hall.

Fred stepped forward, grinning madly. "Well…it's nothing really," he said. "All you have to do it – this."

He walked up to the doors to Great Hall and, in a loud, clear voice, said, _"mellon."_ Behind him, Hermione and some of the smarter Ravenclaws gasped, starting to understand exactly what was going on.

"Weasley, exactly what is tha –" Professor McGonagall voice broke off mid-sentence as the doors started to speak.

"_You shall not pass, Gandalf Greyhame,"_ the deep, ancient voice bellowed.

As the rest of the school gaped at the fact that doors were speaking, something unheard of even in the wizarding world, the twins continued to grin cheerily.

"And then," George said, taking over from his twin, "all you have to do is say _I banish you to the depths, foul beast. Begone!_ The doors will open, you can get into the Great Hall, and the process starts again for the next person or pair of people."

"Boys," Professor McGonagall started, temper flaring at the thought of how long it would take everyone to get inside the Great Hall, "I'm not going to say this twice. Remove the charms on the doors this ins –"

"Now, now, Minerva," Professor Dumbledore interrupted her, "this is the most ingenious prank I've seen in a long time. I think it would be best if we let it continue."

Professor McGonagall looked horrified. "Albus, the students are –"

"I am curious to know," Dumbledore continued, ignoring McGonagall protests, "however did you come up with this? The two of you have never been in the habit of reading classic Muggle fiction."

"Oh, we heard some Ravenclaws talking about it," Fred replied airily. "I think they were meeting up for a weekly book club or something of that sort. We thought it would be funny."

As the two of them sauntered into the Great Hall, congratulating each other on another successful prank, Hermione collapsed in a dead faint, horrified at the bastardization of her favourite book.

Needless to say, it took more than double the usual time for dinner to be finished that night. And as a consequence of the prank, Fred and George were banned from the library during the Ravenclaw book club meetings.

* * *

_For: _

_The If You Dare Challenge, Prompt 146. Displeased_

_Twin Boot Camp, Prompt 6. Muggle Affairs_

_Prank Wars Competition_

_HP Potions Competition, Boil-Cure Potion_

_Weasley-Potter-Prewitt Challenge, Fred Weasley_

_Greenhouses Competition, Alihotsy_

_6 Senses Competition, Helpless (emotion)_


End file.
